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I always thought I would graduate college, marry, wait a few years, and have 2-3 kids, all before turning 30. Instead, my husband and I married at 23. We knew it would be a while until we started a family. We had careers to start & bills to pay. We also didn't spend a lot of time together, so simply enjoying each other's company was satisfactory. Every year we found a new reason to put it off another year.
Being a teacher at a high school, you're expected to want kids because you work with kids. Other people perceive you as more "cold" to the students or not able to relate to the parents, if you don't have kids. Your students ask about your choices and why you don't have kids. Meanwhile, as you are aging, your teenage students are seeming constantly pregnant. It's awkward.
As we got closer to our 30s we began to re-evaluate what we wanted in our future. We decided to try and get pregnant. We decided that if it happened, it would be great adventure. If it didn't happen, well... we were finally getting financially comfortable so there were so many options on how we could enjoy one another. I got pregnant.
I enjoy motherhood but one is enough, especially due to my age & health concerns. Does being a mom make me a better teacher? Maybe some moments. Other days my son is the reason why I'm emotionally & physically exhausted. Nonetheless, I am more judgmental about how the amount of thought (or lack of) I perceive others placed into entering parenthood & their sex lives because I so carefully planned mine. Being a parent is both one of the most selfish and selfless things you can do, at the same time. –Rachel
Do you have a story about navigating the choice not to have children? Share it here.