I got my first couple of jobs out of university thanks to maternity leave here in Canada. Right out of school, I wanted to get my career in publishing going and I got some of my bigger breaks because women would go have children and never come back. Until this started to happen, I was quite neutral about having kids. I figured I probably would some day but was not fixated on it. Then women started disappearing. Not just from work but my life. If I didn't have children and was not planning on having them soon, you were out. The ones that returned were different. Remember after Madonna had her child? She was a completely different person. People freaked out. I freaked out.
The older I got the more I saw it happen around me. Women giving up on their dreams or changing. When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia I was like, no, I do not want that to happen to me. My career was stolen from me because of illness but you can not take away who I am. I do not want to change. I like me. My body has enough to deal with. Later as a spouse of someone in the military, the pressure got even more intense and I was the weirdo wife. The older I got I was considered an aberration.
As a food enthusiast I signed up for a cake decorating class only to be hassled by a mother who was taking the class with her daughter telling me I was going to die alone. I have been many controversial things in this little life I have lived on this planet. Nothing has been more alienating than my choice not to be a mother. Thankfully there are a lot of people out there who do not care but clearly they many who take my decision not to have kids to heart as a personal rejection. The worse part is when they say I have no family. Anyone who knows me knows how close I am with my family. You do not need to have children to have a family. At least I don't.
You can hear more about the story of me and that cake decorating class. I was so publicly humiliated. I still wish to this day I had taken my cake and thrown it in her fucking face but at the time I did not want to attack her in front of her child. It still haunts me to this day what the girl must have thought of the woman who took that abuse from her mother in that stupid cake decorating class. I have tolerated no fools since and shut it down right away. I am done being polite. –Suzie
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